grow

i wrote this post on thursday, but i obviously didn’t get to publish it until now…

“Well, today basically stunk. I hate it when you go to Refuge on Wednesday night and get all pumped up, then the next morning you totally wreck the feeling you had the night before by being a grouch. This morning I started off asking God to help me through the day by letting me be open and intimate with his presence and to let me set all distractions and stress aside. But it isn’t enough to just ask Him to do that- I have to do my part. God’s is willing to help me at all times, but I have to be willing to actually take part in the movement I want to make. I can’t keep living like I have been. This sounds weird, but sometimes I feel like a bipolar Christian. One day I’m totally on fire for God, then the next I’m in need of a major attitude adjustment. I have to give to God what He is asking me to give. Like I said in one of my previous posts- just try. If I really set my mind to pleasing him and being ‘about the Father’s business’ throughout the entire day and not just in that little instant when I first wake up, then I won’t wreck the day that he made for me to make a difference in.”
“I know I said earlier that today stunk, but one thing about it that didn’t stink was life group. Every time I go there I feel so connected with people who love God like I do. These people go through the exact same things that I go through. (some of you are like ‘duh, of course they go through the same things you do.’ But because I’m homeschooled and a little more sheltered than the average person, I feel like this connection is really cool. I am normal! Lol:) Sometimes I feel really disconnected, but God always shows me that I’m not disconnected and that there is a reason for me being set apart. I can connect and be set apart at the same time. At amplified He even allowed me to meet a leader who was homeschooled all of her life, was just as sheltered as I am, and has four younger siblings (just like me). It was such an amazing thing to know that God put that person in the same house as me so that I could meet her and know that I am not alone in the way I’m being raised. It was really God showing me that He knows what He is doing and that I just need to trust Him. He has a plan for my life. Only I can live it. I have to make the choice to make a difference for His glory. I must be a good steward of the time He has given me on this earth. The only reason I’m here is to further His kingdom. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have something to fulfill. I am praying that God will help me to be more determined than I have ever been. I want to be a revolution- even if it’s only at my home, influencing my little brothers. Lol. I am so thankful that God’s mercy is ready to renew itself whenever I’m ready to renew myself. I’m going to do my part tomorrow instead of just asking God to do it all. I’m going to participate in what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do. Well, at least I’m going to try- and if I mess up I’ll stand back up and keep going.”

“That was kind of deep for me. Maybe next time I’ll post something funny. ☺”

*vicTORIa*

i’m going to post about the most awesome roots meeting we had tonight, but i need to do about months worth of seven peoples laundry first. lol.

i just want to say “I LOVE JESUS!!!”

Amplified was amazing! God really showed up. we’re going to start a revolution!-even us homeschoolers!!! i’m so excited about all that God has done and is doing and is going to do. wednesday, refuge was packed, and tweeze did an awesome job. he spoke about not letting fear, compromise, complacency, or hypocrisy get in our way. then on thursday, closer life group was packed. we split up guys and girls and shared about our experience this weekend. it was so cool. everyone had something really cool to say. it felt awesome to have a bunch of people together who are so on fire for God- kids and leaders both. God has truly blessed me with great people to fellowship with and to learn from. tomorrow the serve team is going to a carnival for the homeless. i’m looking forward to being able to serve there. and sunday is roots class. i love my life!

see you guys later…

*vicTORIa*

i can’t wait until amplified tomorrow! i’ve been counting down the days. if you don’t have any idea of what i’m talking about- amplified is basically like a youth retreat or summer camp except it’s here in town and it’s a lot cheaper. we meet at church friday evening, have an awesome church service, then we go to our host’s homes and get to know the people in our group and of course sleep, then the next day we go on an outreach and have a ton of fun handing out water downtown or something, then we go back to the host’s home and take a shower and chill, then we have another awesome church service, then we go back to the host’s home and sleep, then we wake up the next morning and go to the normal sunday church service. (in case you were wondering- yes, i do know that that was a run-on sentence) anyway, the best part of amplified is getting closer to God. i mean, that sounds so corny, but it really doesn’t make sense until you’ve experienced it. it’s really so awesome- the best feeling in the world is being in God’s presence. you feel so safe and loved and clean and a million other things that i can’t describe. it’s really amazing. the only hard part is keeping the fire going a few days after all the excitement wears off and your peers start to annoy you again. but i’m going to try really hard this year. well, i have to go, i’ve got physical therapy in the morning and baby-sitting after that and packing after that and amplified after that!

see ya later!

*vicTORIa*

sorry- i don’t have time to do a spell check.

so for the people that don’t already know- these past few months i have been having some weird back pain when i lift heavy things (such as 30lb. baby brothers-and yes, for me that’s heavy). i’ll try to lift something and my back will hurt for a few minutes, then my leg will start to ache and tingle, then it almost goes numb and i can hardly walk. this has been going on since december. luckily, i’ve only had the whole tingling incident twice. but i have been going to physical therapy and to the orthapedist and all that. i also had an mri this past week. the results took forever to get back to us. but before we actually got the results, at the closer/refuge serve team meeting), dr. tweeze talked about the prayer of healing (did i already post about this? oh, well READ IT AGAIN! lol) so ,the one and only, stephanie felt led by God to have everyone lay hands on me and miss paula. (she has a herniated disc in her neck. which, by the way, she is doing a lot better) anyway, all of the people at that meeting laid hands on us and prayed for us. normally i don’t like being the center of attention but this was a great feeling to have everyone in the place praying for you. i am so thankful for friends and family that love me and most of all love God. so, results from the mri didn’t come until wednesday morning. my dad and i sat in the doctor’s office for like forty-five minutes. we were in suspense, boredom, & sleepiness. we talked about everything you can imagine two people could talk about. i mean, from serious stuff like how God is doing stuff in our lives to people who pick their noses don’t even realize it. but finally the doctor came in and put up the little sheet on the lightbox and said THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ANYTHING IN MY BACK! no bone problems, no disc problems, no fluid problems around any discs- basically just tight hamstrings. nothing is wrong!!!! prayer works!!

i want to thank God for letting this be an experience that taught me how to put my trust in Him. and for showing me that He is real and nothing in the world can change that. He will always be here for me no matter what happens. God also showed me the true power of prayer. it changes everything. even though He knows what you need before you ask, it still gives us faith when we ask Him. and it brings us closer to God and proves that He really does hear us.

and thanks to stephanie and to everyone who prayed for me! it really made a difference. thanks for listening to God when he told you to step up, steph. you’re great!

and thanks to my family for all of your endless prayers. y’all are the best family a girl could wish for.

(man! i feel like i’m writing acknowledgements at the back of a cd cover.)

well, i’m happy! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am a healthy girl!

so today i was reading stephanie’s blog. she was writing about how her day didn’t go exactly the way she wanted it to, but she didn’t let it get to her. she put a smile on her face, and kept going. it made me realize that if i would just try to be patient and not let other people or situations get to me, then my life would be so much better. i wouldn’t go to bed every night regretting my day and feeling like i messed up again. i would at least have the satisfaction of knowing that i tried and that i didn’t just let everything be horrible because of minor imperfections. above all i would be pleasing Jesus, which in turn makes me happy. so everyone wins.

check out steph’s post

if you feel like everyday is just another thing to get through, ask God to help you.

JUST TRY!

hey peeps,

how does everyone like the blog makeover? my dad’s awesome. he spent just about an entire saturday doing it. we’re still in the process of changing some things, but the main part is obviously done. i love it. kind of a vintage look. now the tough part is writing more posts. i think the new look will help motivate me to post, though.

P.S. i was supposed to get my mri results this past monday, but now i’m getting them this coming wednesday. please keep praying. thanks!

*vicTORIa*