grow

wait one more post for tonight…or this morning- whatever!!

MISS PAULA GOT A BLOG!! yep!! she did!
i am so proud!
lol.

so go check it out…

HERE!!! (<- it’s right there in white:)

today…

well…

I GOT MY DRIVING PERMIT!!

yay!!

yep..my mom made me go to the dmv and take my test. i was so nervous and scared that i would fail again and i was stressed…it wasn’t good. but i did pray about it. i asked God to give me peace- because i really was scared. lol. i knew that i couldn’t do it if i depended on myself- only God could get me through and help me pass. so as i took the test i was talking to God all throughout it. and saying little prayers in my head before i answered the question. i sound really goofy right now. and i make big deals out of nothing…but God really did help me through this. His was holding my hand like a dad holds his little girls hand when she’s scared. it’s just so cool. God gave me peace and got me through it. proving yet again how amazing and caring He is. and showing me how much i need to trust in Him and give Him my all. i even had a bad attitude because of how stressed i was- i am so bad about that. i am not at all a good handler of stress. i’m working on that though. like that verse in proverbs about “a person who fails under pressure is not very strong”. yeah…so i’ve got to get better about that. but it was kind of cool how God gave me grace in that and still didn’t leave me. He still held my hand and helped me through my test.

and something hilarious that happened…
when the lady at the dmv called me up to pay…she called out “veronica!!…i mean victoria!” isn’t that crazy?!! haha. i couldn’t believe it!

also…today i got shoes and a jacket for homecoming.!!yay.
and my grandparents came over for dinner. (my dad cooked pork chops! they were really good)
then leah and i went to life way to look at Bible study books for enthralled.

so that’s been my day…and week.

God is teaching me so much…
life is awesome!!!

okay…now it’s really late!!
i need to go to bed.

i really need to keep up with blog reading and posting and commenting better than i have been. i’ve seriously got some time management to work on…

well…the past couple of days/weeks have, yet again, been awesome.

last monday we had enthralled and tiffany dupree came to speak and to share her testimony. it was incredible. she is so cool and i love her so much!

tuesday…i really don’t remember. ?

wednesday…one way!! it was so awesome. God really kind of gave me a boost in my passion for missions. it was incredible. my legs were really sore. lol. and i also got to go with shae and gallon and misty to starbucks. (jordan didn’t come because he had a basketball game…and mickey doesn’t like one way services- party pooper! jk) well…it was fun even though we were missing people.

thursday…closer! we were supposed to go to the state fair to see the refuge band play, but it got rained out. so we just got to hang out. mr. danny mousso cooked for us and we played cranium. and the guys all played soccer in the rain. we had a blast.

friday…my whole family plus, austin wright, picked up miss paula and we went to jordan’s basketball game in maurepas. then everyone (my fam. and austin, miss paula, jordan…and mr. kenny and miss melee!:) all went to eat dinner at this really great seafood restaurant called val’s. then miss paula and jordan came over and watched nacho libre with us. (it was pretty stupid but that’s okay) and my little brothers had some popcorn spillage, etc. lol. and they also copied the movie by wrestling each other and lincoln. haha.

saturday…i slept in a little. then we met my uncle josh, aunt shannon, and cousins, (vaughn, monet, and monroe) at mr. gatti’s for lunch. my cousins are the sweetest most well behaved kids ever!! seriously!
and that afternoon i met jordan and mr. kenny and mrs. melee at the mall to look for jordan’s homecoming clothes. and then jordan and i went to best buy and he made me play guitar hero. lol. i failed. haha. but that’s okay…it was actually really fun.

then i went chick night. which was so awesome! i really learned a lot from it. and miss tammy coordinated an awesome drama!-with maddy coye and hailey dupree in it…and another girl whose name i do not know- but she was beautiful anyway and did awesome. and jamie was in it…well his picture anyway- but it got ripped in half. lol. don’t worry…i’m sure they taped you back together, jamie. and miss delynn spoke about rising above the crowd, above the world, and above yourself. rising above yourself!- that really speaks to me! but yeah…the whole service was awesome…and worship was great with tabitha and mallory and all the girls. (except for a few guys… josh/bob and jonah) but it was awesome!

then all of the enthralled girls had a sleepover at leah’s. we ate and talked and ate some more and talke some more…and then we watched the new peter pan and fell asleep. lol.

sunday…my dad picked me up for the 8 o’clock service. i sat with him for the worship part and then at greeting time i went to sit with jordan and miss paula and blake and candace.
then i went to children’s church for 10 and 12. and i got to hang out with courtney and becca during that time too. which was really fun getting to talk to them.
then i went home and ate. then went back to the church for fall fest!!!
i had a blast there, making candied apples. (and i subconciously wore a shirt with apples on it!! lol) but yeah…fall fest was so much fun. me and heather and jordan even rode the little kid train with rhett and rhodes, and lincoln and vaughn. lol.
i really wanted to ride in a hot air baloon though. they were so cool! i think i was more amazed by them than my brothers. haha. so…fall fest was so cool. i think we had like 4,000 people show up! i got to see a lot of people that i haven’t seen in a long time. it was cool.

then today…
see next post!…:)

okay so…long time since i’ve posted…sorry.
my life has been really busy lately. lots of awesome stuff has been going on…outreaches, movies, church, hanging with my family and friends, life groups, refuge, goofy little kids movies- lol, basketball games, i also went to a really fun youth night at jordan’s school in french settlement this week, i went dress shopping with heather for homecoming!, my aunt, uncle, and cousins got here from iowa,…and a lot of other things that i can’t remember. lol. anyway..life’s been pretty hectic and crazy lately. and i love it! ummm….i also had school today! eww. i’m trying to get caught up on all of the skipping i’ve been doing lately…so this week is going to be pretty heavy work. my mom is also making me take the driver’s test either friday or monday…ahh! i have a book review due friday, too…and i’m not even half way through the book yet. wednesday is one way. thursday is closer…and we’re going to the state fair where the refuge band is playing!! oh yeah! saturday is chick night and enthralled is doing a sleepover afterwards…

okay…all that was really jumbled up information. but oh well. the point i’m trying to make is that my life is pretty all over the place. and sometimes i absolutely love my life and everything about it. i know what i need to do and i understand enough of the vision God has for my life to know where i’m going. but then other times i get so overwhelmed with all of this stuff that’s going on. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do with my life. i’ve got decisions to make. things that i don’t understand. i get mad about my own flaws and question my own motives. i don’t understand myself and just get stressed out and depressed.
so i feel like i’m all over the place and i feel like i can’t manage my time and keep a schedule. i have so much that i want to accomplish, but i get so sidetracked and distracted.
i let emotions rule me. i act upon my own feelings instead of letting God’s presence be the basis of my life. i know that i can’t get all down because i don’t know exactly what’s going on…but i have to learn to trust God and let Him give me joy to sustain me. i can’t depend on hapiness or temporary little highs to boost me up. i’ve got to let God be my stability- holding me in the times that are hard and confusing and holding me in the times where i understand more and have more knowledge about life. i have to trust Him when i’m over joyed but also when i’m not so joyful.

i love God and all i want is intimacy with Him.
i seriously can’t wait for Heaven, but i know that i’ve still got a lot to learn here and a lot to do here.

so…sorry if my thoughts are not making sense. i need to blog more often. i’m kinda out of practice. lol. but yeah…

oh, another cool thing that happened… i already talked about the youth event at jordan’s school, but it was so cool. we were in the gymnasium and the band from calvary church was leading worship. we were singing “where the spirit of the lord is” and it was storming outside- no thunder…just gentle rain and some lightning here and there. i could see the flashes through the windows and the rain was so soft on the roof. there was such a peace in there. and i started thinking about how God is so powerful (like the lightning) and so peaceful and steady (like the rain). it was just an awesome feeling of security in God.
idk. it was just cool.

so yeah…i guess i need to go to bed. i’ve got a ton of school work to do tomorrow. lol.

tomorrow is another gift from God. another chance to be a world changer. i don’t want to waste any time because it is a gift from God.

ok…i’m done now. lol. no more rambling.
see you guys later.

-tori

gosh…what do i write about? i want to spill my guts about a lot of things, but i seriously don’t know what or how to say it all. hmm…

i had an awesome weekend. i got to hang out with some of my friends friday. i went to an incredible outreach at the baton rouge dream center saturday, i also got to see one of my friends perform a ballet at singles ministry that night. (she is a cancer survivor and they shared her testimony at tgis). it was really cool. (she was so beautiful up there:) sunday night i went to hang out with jordan, miss paula, julia, and ashlyn at their house. (they rented hoodwinked…lol.-let’s just say it was a little goofy. lol. so we watched rv instead. haha. last night we had enthralled life group…which was awesome, too. sarah and leah taught about setting standards for parties and drinking. and i brought 9 individual pints of blue bell ice cream for the snack. lol. soon there’s going to be a rise in obesity at refuge. jk. and today…

well…i went to prayer at the annex. the chairs were all cleared out and it was just empty in the sanctuary and everyone left a few minutes after i got there, so it was basically just me and God. (someone may have been there in the office…idk) anyway…it was like the coolest thing. i was completely alone in God’s presence.
yet something was holding me back. lately my thoughts have been going in circles and i get so distracted with life’s situations. i over analyze everything and i worry myself to death about how my words are perceived (because i basically botch everything i say. lol) so anyway…i just kept worrying about this situation and that…and i began to get overwhelmed with jobs i had to do…it was like a spirit of distraction and uneasiness had come over me. so i started to journal and read my Bible…and i read something in 1 peter (1:13) that said to “THINK CLEARLY and exercise self-control”! wow! so that was cool and it helped a lot. but i still kept feeling uneasy about something…then i realized what it was…

i’m homesick! my spirit is longing for Heaven. that’s what my problem is.
i know i sound like a weirdo but seriously…my soul just aches for the eternity that i get to spend with God. i know that the Bible says not to become impatient for Heaven and that we are on earth for a purpose. i know that i have a purpose on this earth…and i really really want to work so much harder to fulfill that purpose. God is continuing to convict me about the time that i waste with making careless mistakes and about the time i waste with not thinking clearly. i seriously want to be in God’s presence everyday! i want to live it out. nothing else matters. no matter what happens in my life…no matter what i do or what i go through…God is my strength. He stabilizes me. He has my life in His control. i will keep my hands open…clenching nothing but Him. He has blessed me with so much, but my hands are still open. i hold on to nothing but Him. and i look forward to the day when Jesus comes to get me! i can’t wait to see His glory! i really can’t. i just pray that i will live in fear of God and of His judgement. i want to bring Him honor in everything i do…so that i can stand blameless before Him when He judges us. i want to let my life just be a small piece of what Heaven is like. i want everyone to know God’s love so that they can be in His presence forever too. how could i ever waste time?! the more time i waste the less others will see God’s glory and the less people will know Him and the less crowns i get to put at Jesus’ feet in Heaven. i’m really so sick of myself. i want God to consume me completely! kill me! i don’t want to live anymore but i want God to just dwell through me. i really want to make a difference in this world! i am so homesick. i just want to be with God. i pray that i can think clearly and that i show God’s love to everyone i encounter.

God is all that matters. He is everything. i don’t have anything else to say except that God is all!

i’m sorry if i sound like i’m out of my mind. it’s just a longing that God puts in everyone’s heart and lately it’s just been really strong in mine. i’ve just got to keep my desires level with the practical things of everyday living. so yeah…

i spilled my guts. lol.

…refuge is tomorrow!!…
YAY!

ok, now, my post pertaining to myspace…

today i deleted my myspace! yep, i did it.

before i list the reasons, please know that i have nothing against those who do have a myspace and this isn’t like a boycott thing…it’s just a personal thing.

here are my reasons:

1. myspace has some pretty terrible ads. i never really notice the ads because most of them are targeted to guys, i guess. but even though i’m not really being effected by it, i would rather not contribute to something that may cause one of my friends to get into trouble- because the bad stuff if literally one or two clicks away.

2. myspace is time consuming and can be addicting. sometimes all you can think about is “did i get a message?” or “i wonder who’s online”. i know that for a few weeks there it was really taking up a lot of my time and causing me to slack in responsibilities. (blogger can do that too. -but not so much)
i mean…i’ve had some awesome conversations on myspace, but not anything that i couldn’t have done through email or im. but yeah…myspace took away a lot of valuable time that i could have spent on more important things.

so there are a couple of my reasons for deleting my myspace. like i said…i don’t judge the people that have one nor do i have anything against them…this is just how i’m choosing to do it. so yeah…

you guys can email me or leave comments-GET BLOGS! or im me.

and what’s kind of crazy is that, tonight, at enthralled, sarah and i are speaking about setting standards in entertainment. it’s so crazy how God pieces everything together. i always say it, but He always does it…His presence is so evident everywhere i look.

i am so thankful for His grace and for His blessings in my life.
(i’m still praying that He will make me patient with my brothers…even when they overwhelm me. lol. and that He will continue to teach me how to fully enjoy them and delight in them.

so…that’s about it for now.
thanks for reading.

-tori

WOW!! this has been a crazy few weeks for me!! i don’t know where to start.:)…

well…

friday i had my 16th birthday party!! it was awesome. we (my parents, brothers, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousin, and jordan, mickey, and shae) went to hello sushi first, then to tsunami’s where we met the rest of the group and we got dessert, then we played (or were thrown into) the fountains by mickey. lol. then we came back to my house to play nintendo and xbox (and to EAT!-dinner mints and chocolate covered strawberries!!) i had an awesome time!! i got lots of great gifts and had fun hanging out with my friends. and as someone put it, we had some great discussions.

then i got to go to the lsu game with miss paula, mr. glenn, and julia. which was fun. i actually took jordan’s ticket because he had to work. but he ended up getting sick and having to go to the emergency room because of some chest pain…:) he’s a lot better now though.

so we left the game after the half time show and got mcdonalds!:) and they dropped me off at my house.

then my cous, todd came by to wish me happy birthday and to give me some awesome new hair products from rigsby that jennifer (my friend/hair stylist;his girlfriend) sent for me. so cool!!!

then my family and i went to church together. which was awesome!!

sunday…i went to the 8 o’clock service then i helped out at children’s ministry for the 10 and 12 services. actually the 5 yr. old class was short on helpers, so i got to go help there. which was SO MUCH FUN!! there were some twin boys that i got to be pals with! lol. they were soooooo cute! with big dimples. lol. (not as cute as my brothers though.)

well anyway…then my mom picked me up and we went to the mall and got SMOOTHIES!!

then i got to go to st. franny with ashlyn. awesome service! i love it out there.

and today is my birthday. i watched the clock change from 11:59 to 12:00 last night. lol. it felt like new years eve. haha. i know…i’m weird. but it was cool.

so anyway…life is good. i can’t describe it, but God is unbelievable. He is awesome!! and all i want is Him! i want all i do to bring Him glory and honor. i want to let my whole life be devoted to Him alone!

well…i want to write more…but i’m about to leave to get lunch. i have another post that i need to write pertaining to myspace…but i’ll do that later. and i need to post pics from my party.

okay…gtg. the babies are throwing baseballs at each other!!

-tori