this october, i’m turning 18 years old! and for some reason that really really scares me. i don’t know why. it’s just the thought of being an official “grown up”. all these responsibilities…they’re for real- no turning back! haha.
i’m weird. i remember a long time ago, i was reading aimee gwaltney’s myspace and she was talking about the thought of turning 18 and how it just seemed so GROSS to her. when i read that then (i was like 15/16), i thought it was strange that being 18 was a “gross” thing to her. but now i get what she meant!
of course, it’s really not a big deal. i just enjoy being a kid/teenager…
what’s weird is i’ve really never been unhappy with my age-never wished to be younger or older. so this is odd that 18 seems so icky to me.
i think it’s just kinda heavy because i feel like i’m closing my child hood- forever! did i do everything i was called to do during that time? did i fulfill and learn and grow and laugh and worship as much as i was supposed to?
i know that turning 18 does not mean that i’m not a kid anymore..i don’t have to be some austere stiff person now. just new responsibilities- and my favorite…more DECISIONS. yeah…that’s a lovely one.
yet in all this growing up, i’m growing closer and deeper in Him.
like some trees, they say that the roots can grow as deep as the tree is tall. i pray it’s the same with me.
(i had to throw in a tree analogy:)
my word for the year is grow. i just didn’t think that would entail “grow up”. but that’s God’s design for us. and if that’s what He meant for me to do, then by doing it- i worship Him.
i guess it’s kinda exciting. the adventure continues!
joy!
